So this one time...

I took a course in college called "Women in American History."  I was grossly outnumbered, being one of three guys in the class.  On the first day the professor, who was also the only man-hating lesbian in the Women and Gender Studies faculty, asked who was a feminist.  Nearly every hand in the room shot up, including the two other boys who where obviously so shit-scared by the question.  Along with a few other ladies, my hand stayed on my desk.  

"Mr. Russoniello," she asked (we had name tags), "why is it that you are not a feminist?"

"A few reasons, I suppose.  If you mean, 'Are you in favor of placing women in a power position over men,' then I most certainly am not, because that would obviously put me at a disadvantage.  No, I am not a feminist.  I am all about equality.  I am baffled that we still do not have equal pay for equal work, that we are lacking women in major areas of political power, and that women who choose to assert themselves are seen as 'crazy.'  I am not a feminist if it means replacing one power group with another.  I just don't think gender should be an issue."

This is the point when I thought I had failed the class on the first day and was about to be publicly castrated in front of a group of co-eds.

Rather, the professor was delighted with my response.  "Mr. Russoniello, I think you get it." 

Phew.

Now with McCain having chosen Sarah Palin of Alaska to his ticket, it only makes sense to jump on the blogsphere bandwagon and throw in my two, totally useless and otherwise unimportant, cents.  

I have no problem with Palin being a female candidate in the same way that I have no problem with Obama being an African-American presidential nominee.  All points aside, this will be, in my opinion, the most influential election since the first few when we were trying to work things out; after November passes, the doors to the "whited sepulcher" of 1600 Pennsylvania will no longer be barred against anything but old white men.  And this is a good thing.

Palin comes on the ticket doing a few things right for McCain.  She neutralizes the "progressive ticket" aspect of Obama's campaign by adding that little "spice" most seventy-something year-old whities just do not bring to the table.  Palin has proven herself a capable leader, having run her state in a very basic (as in strong focus) Republican manner which has seen her make policy along her party's lines.  I'm not saying she's correct in her decision making, nor am I agreeing with Republican politics, I'm merely attesting to her adherence to her party's beliefs (and I am going to leave out a zing about her daughter and teen mother program spending [thought by saying I'm leaving it out aren't I really putting it in {and isn't this an excessive use of parenthesis?}]).

My real beef with Sarah Palin has absolutely nothing to do with her having lady bits or being librarian-esqe attractive.  While I align myself with a more liberal outlook, do not for a second doubt my patriotism.  I am absolutely, head-over-heels, in love with America.  I am fascinated by the idea of the system, how it is supposed to work, and the foresight of the founding fathers to get shit done in an effective way that has remained relatively unchanged for a few hundred years.  When we come around to reading the Constitution, my heart goes all a-flutter and I get weak in the knees.  Just imagine it for a minute - each state is basically an independent country; if New Jersey wanted to, we could survive in the world all by our lonesome.  However, it is the conscious decision of the states to lay themselves before a higher law, before the federal government, that makes the whole thing work.  To me, the idea of working together for something greater than ourselves is such a powerful vision that if I could I would back in time and enlist in the Union Army just so I could have the chance to tell some Johnny Reb to step off, your states' rights crap is nuthin' but a bull.  Go build some railroads, fo'.  

My gripe with Palin lies in her courtship of the Alaska Independence Party.  For a state which will become so central to the economy of the United States in the coming decades, she has a lot of nerve to think it's OK for her leave us when we would need her.  Her state should check it's history - they were useless to the Russians and they needed money, the United States bought her because we figured the state "might have potential."  We took a gamble and found some gold out of it.  Now we need you again for oil (which I do not want to see drilled but it might become a necessity) and you think about leaving?  No card?  No phone call?  Just like that?  

Thanks Sarah.  I thought we had had some good times together.  Remember Call of the Wild?  Did you forget about Balto?  Stone Fox?  Santa Claus?  He's an American by now, right? 

The long and short of it is all you Republican voters out there need to ask yourselves if Palin, regardless of hotness, loves America enough for you.  I for one am doubting her commitment.  

Oh, I got a B in that history course because I didn't do any reading.