Found this in my notes from 4 March 09. I remember being in the throws of self-doubt at the time, questioning my life and my choices. I re-read The Stranger. It was bad. Then spring happened and all was right with the world.
The extistential crisis -how do you reconcile
What You Preach with What You Practice?
Day to day, tomorrow after tomorrow, until the lost.
But by now, you have amounted to nothing -
You are more a friend than a father,
And all your work is a hypocritical hoax which
Cannot be mended.
Break! Free yourself, free your mind.
Who are you but a
Cog in a larger wheel
(of Fate perhaps?)
That turns and rotates, mimicking
The Sun, the Moon, the Starts.
After all, aren't you just space dust anyway?
No More Than Dirt?
Under your soles to find your soul-
Nirvana is under your feet.